


Only a Fool Would Wear a Crown

by HewerOfCaves



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Brotherly Love, Discussion of Death/Assisted Suicide, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 12:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HewerOfCaves/pseuds/HewerOfCaves
Summary: “You would pull out your heart from your chest and give it to him if he breathed just a word. Will you deny it?”Maedhros thought for a moment before answering. “No. I cannot.”Maedhros and Maglor discuss Maedhros's relationship with Fingon and his decision to give up the crown.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno & Maedhros | Maitimo, Maedhros | Maitimo & Maglor | Makalaurë
Comments: 24
Kudos: 68





	Only a Fool Would Wear a Crown

**Author's Note:**

> Fingon isn't actually in this fic but it is about his relationship with Maedhros, so I put Maedhros & Fingon as a relationship tag.
> 
> I couldn't find a title, then finally remembered that I have written down pieces of lyrics from various songs as potential fic titles and chose this one. Probably from Billy Talent.
> 
> Not beta'd, not a native speaker.

“I am glad that claiming to be tired is still enough to get them to leave me alone,” Maedhros said when the door closed after five of his brothers with a little more force than necessary. “Even when some of them look like they are about to kill me.”

“They will come around,” Maglor said.

“Hopefully. Because I am not backing down from this.” Maedhros shifted on his armchair. “Fetch me that fur cloak over the bed, will you? It is getting colder.”

Maglor took the heavy cloak and covered his brother. After a little hesitation, he said, “Curvo was just suggesting to wait a little longer. Until you are fully healed.”

“Curvo was suggesting that I am not in my right mind to make such a decision.”

“He believes you do it because you think you owe Fingon—”

“I do owe him.”

“He thinks the crown might be too big a price to pay.”

“For what? My life? The lives that were lost on the Grinding Ice? Peace?” Maedhros sighed. “I am under no illusion that I do Fingon any favors by refusing to take the crown and I don’t want my brothers to be either. I am not doing this for Fingon. I thought that much was clear but apparently not.” His fingers closed tightly around the cup of honey-sweetened water in front of him that had long been emptied. “Is that what you believe too, Kano?” he asked.

“No… But you can’t blame our brothers for such thoughts. We all can see that you treat him… differently.”

Maedhros sat straight in the chair. “Do you suggest that Fingon somehow influenced my decision to give up the crown?”

“No, I trust your judgment in this, I know this is the best decision you could have made given the circumstances.”

“Then what’s the matter?” A sly grin lit up Maedhros’s still gaunt face. “Are you jealous, little brother?”

“No!” Maglor’s cheeks reddened and he laughed in disbelief. “No, that’s not it. I know you used to be close and now you are close again but something about it is different.”

“Well, of course it is. How could it not be after everything that happened? Our bond was tested by fire, ice, and blood, and it couldn’t have come out of it unchanged. Why does it bother you?”

“It’s…” Maglor sat in front of his brother and ran his hand over his face. “It’s how you look when you see him or even when you just talk about him. Even right now. It’s in your eyes. That look of complete devotion. I don’t like it.”

Maedhros shrugged, unabashed. “After what he did for me, I think it’s natural that I feel that way. Are you sure you are not jealous?”

“No, Nelyo! It’s not about that.” Maglor bit his lip in frustration, seeking the right words. “I don’t like that he holds such power over you. It is too much. It is frightening. If he asked you to chop off your foot too, you would grab a sword and severe your entire leg. You would pull out your heart from your chest and give it to him if he breathed just a word.” He suddenly noticed that his voice was too loud and winced, sending an apologetic look to Maedhros. “Will you deny it?” he asked quietly.

Maedhros thought for a moment before answering. “No. I cannot.”

“Do you understand my concerns now?”

“I do, but you need not worry about that. Fingon is conscious of it and he would never use his power over me for ill.” The look that unnerved Maglor so was back in Maedhros’s eyes. “I trust him,” he said, “I trust him with everything. I trust him with my life. And I trust that if the Oath warps my mind beyond recognition, beyond salvation, he will take his bow and do what he wasn’t able to do on Thangorodrim.”

Maglor stayed silent for long minutes. He looked into his brother’s eyes and saw the truth of his words there. He was terrified by the intensity of it, by the conviction of it, but it was not something that he was prepared to argue about.

“Have you told him this?” he asked eventually, “Does he know what you expect of him?”

“We haven’t talked about it, no,” Maedhros said, “but he knows. I could not hide it from him any more than I could hide the lack of my right hand. It is cruel of me, I know, to hold both this and the cursed crown of the Noldor hanging over his head, but he hasn’t complained even once. He knows he is the only one I can trust with it.”

Maglor wasn’t able to hide his grimace. Maedhros smiled. A guilty smile but not repentant. He reached for Maglor’s hand and squeezed it. 

“I am sorry, little brother. I trust you with all my heart, but the Oath has a hold over your mind just like it has over mine. And your love for me is the selfish love of a brother, the same as mine for you. You would never let me go.” His smile became more melancholic. “Is it not so?” 

Maglor looked away. “You should not be thinking about such things.” 

“No, I must.” 

Maglor didn’t answer. Maedhros let go of his brother’s hand, leaning back in the armchair. “I wasn’t lying about being tired even if I was using it as an excuse to get our brothers to leave,” he said. 

Maglor nodded. “I will let you rest then.” He stood up and took the cup. “Would you like more of this?” 

“Please and thank you,” Maedhros said. He caught Maglor’s sleeve when his brother walked past him. “Not only for water. I am so grateful for your support and for your care. I don’t know what I would have done without you. No one can replace you.” He caught Maglor’s gaze. “I mean it.” 

“I know,” Maglor said. 

He adjusted the cloak that had slipped down Maedhros’s shoulder and went out.


End file.
